I haven't left the house in 6 days as our household has been hit with the gastro bug. Interestingly, it's given me a lot of time to think about this blog and my journey and my recent self-sabotage (which hasn't quite stopped yet).
This blog is supposed to be about my journey from fat to thin(ner). When I first started it less than two months ago, I was filled with enthusiasm and a strong belief that 'this was the right time'. But when I started writing (without a plan), just writing about my feelings and my experiences, I realised that there is a lot of darkness or emptiness in my soul. And that's what I've been writing about. And that's authentic and true to how I'm feeling. But is it actually helping me? I don't think that it is. In times of darkness, I need light to surround me and guide me in the right direction.
I need to stop making this blog just about the negative feelings that I'm having. But also the positive emotions, the uplifting interactions that I have with people around me. I don't mean to have a constant message that this journey is all about shitting rainbows and unicorns (because it's not and won't ever be)....but there needs to be something positive, something to be (eeek) gained from this.